Leila, Our Avenger

          I don’t even know where to begin. I wasn’t planning on writing anything about this but this overwhelming feeling came over me while I was sitting down during the presentation for the big reveal a few Saturdays ago (4/7/2018) and I just had to write about this experience. First off, let me just say how grateful my family is to have friendships like Josh and Roxana’s in our lives. We don’t live near each other and hardly saw each other when we lived in the same state (thank goodness for social media though) but we really are grateful to know these awesome humans. 

          This story really begins when Roxana reached out to me to see if I knew any kids that had any disabilities. Her husband, Josh is a pretty amazing photographer and he was working on a project that focused on kids that had disabilities. I wasn’t able to help too much during that time with ideas or sources. Roxana actually confided in me with what the project was about. Josh was going to photograph kids with different disabilities and make them look like The Justice League. I am familiar with Josh’s photography style so I was really looking forward to it. PLUS! I am a huge geek when it comes to DC Comics. I have loved superheroes for as long as I can remember.

          What was really cool to me was the fact that Roxana trusted me enough to tell me this super secret project. I asked her if it was cool if I told my husband and she said that was fine. I know there were others out there that knew about it but I was so happy to be involved even in the tiniest of ways. I was completely blown away when the final results were revealed. The photos went viral and the kids featured… they really are super heroes.

In case you have not seen them… Here are the Justice League Kids.

(pretty freaking awesome, right?)

          Around late November of last year, Roxana reached out once more and asked me if I knew any kids that have been bullied. Nothing instantly came to mind. I asked her around early December if I could ask on Facebook and maybe people would reply. I got the go ahead and did it and was taken completely by surprise by how many of my friends have been bullied themselves or have kids that are or were bullied in the past. It completely broke my heart. I knew it was a big problem but I guess putting faces to the problem is what really did it for me. A lot of my friends that replied told me their kid’s stories and I just could not believe these sweet kids have dealt with this kind of stuff. A lot of these kids I have known for years and watched them grow up. I couldn’t believe all the horrible things I was just learning about. Before I actually posted the status on my FB, Roxana again confided in me what the bullying project was going to be about.

THE FREAKING AVENGERS!

           Anyone who knows me knows that I am crazy about the Avengers and with Infinity War coming out, I was super pumped for anything related to them, especially the Hulk. I have been obsessed with Bruce Banner/Hulk since I was a little girl. During those next few days, Roxana and I were in touch a lot because I was trying to get information from the replies I got on FB. But during that time, I was talking to my husband about the project (again, with permission from Roxana) and we both came to a sad realization.

          First, we remembered how our daughter Leila dealt with something really sad when she started 7^th grade. That was the year she started seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety and started taking medication. I remember she told us that a boy in class was listening to her when she was talking to her friend about different issues. For some reason, the boy felt like he needed to yell it out to the class, insult her and make fun of her in front of everyone and call her names because of the therapy and medication. Leila was upset and sad, but luckily she told us about it the very same day it happened. That moment set off a string of events that have spread out over these last few years. That very moment though, it has stuck with her since.

But let me go back a years before that…

          When Leila was 3 years old, she was sitting in one of those plastic lawn chairs and got up on it, leaned the wrong way and fell. She fell right into the corner of a wall in my mom’s living room and when she got up, she was bleeding right above her left eye. I freaked out and my sister helped me with taking her to the ER. Our car actually died on the way to the hospital. It was such a mess. I actually was holding Leila in my arms, knocking on doors, begging for someone to please take me to the hospital. I must have looked crazy with my kid bleeding in my arms, and my eyes bloodshot from crying. This complete stranger answered her door and was kind enough to take us to the ER. I never got her name but I will never EVER forget her and her generosity.

          Leila had to have stitches and has had a scar over her left eye ever since. Cut to a few years later and she is now in elementary school… Leila told us a bunch of kids started calling her Harry Potter because of the scar. From what I know, she never cried over it. She did ask people to stop repeatedly but it has been an ongoing thing she has been dealing with for years. It does hurt her feelings and even when she tells people to stop, she is often met with comments like, “Oh I’m just kidding, calm down!” or “You’re making a big deal out of nothing!”

          That was when the realization came up… Our daughter had been dealing with bullying for years. We don’t know why we never addressed it as that. We talked about each situation and advised on how to help or what to do. But the word “bullied” was never really uttered.

          My daughter is so much like me, but in other ways is absolutely nothing like me and for that, I am grateful. This is what I mean and hopefully it will make more sense as I explain. My husband and I are polar opposites when it comes to communication. I can be loud, very expressive and vocal, and will definitely say something when I feel something is wrong. I think that is a good quality to have, but at times, it can be very bad. My husband on the other hand hates confrontation. He is so much better at letting things go or simply moving on. Again, a great quality to have, but at times can backfire. This is one of the ways I am very glad my daughter isn’t like me. She is just like him. She does not make a big deal out of things and is just all around sweet and doesn’t like to make others feel bad. My husband and I pride ourselves in raising such a caring and loving daughter. But because of this, it has lead to other bullying issues.

          Leila does not like confrontation and would much rather ignore dumb remarks, which is great! In this way, I am glad she does not fly off the handle as I have been known to do (don’t worry, I have gotten much better). We often tell her to not say anything and to ignore people who are rude. But when it comes to constant insults, that is where the issue lies. Sometimes, she is just too nice. I love that my daughter is nice. I love that we have raised such a kind hearted young lady. Sometimes though, it can break my heart that there are people out there that see that and take 100% advantage of it.

          When we were discussing Josh’s Avengers project, we started to remember all the years with the ridiculous Harry Potter comments, we were immediately brought back to the time she was in 7^th grade and that boy taunted her about going to therapy. We did not realize that this had actually been bullying. Just because there is not one repeated offender, it does not make it any less hurtful. We started to piece things together. Every year that she has been in junior high, there have been ongoing issues. Counting the comments about her scar, add the specific hateful remarks from that first boy… we noticed her self-esteem dwindle. Plus, that was when she started medication and going to therapy. So, as her parents, we knew that this was going to be an uphill battle.

          One random day, she told us she wanted to start taking boxing lessons. We searched and searched but didn’t really find anything that fit our schedule. It wasn’t until a co-worker and friend told me about AbsoluteMMA. We figured the closest thing Leila would like is Kickboxing. In fact, my husband and I were so certain of it, we were already searching online for what kind of gear we were going to buy her. At Absolute MMA, they offer a free week trial, so Leila took every single class for one week to see what she liked best. She tried Judo, Kickboxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Wrestling and Muay Thai. We were all surprised when she said she liked Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu the most and that was the only class she wanted to focus on. We signed her up and she has been with them since. They have become such an amazing support system for her and our family. This summer, she will be at Absolute for 3 years and they have been great. They have not only helped her become physically strong (Seriously! Her choke holds are NO JOKE!) but they have helped tremendously with her self-esteem.

To her professors at Absolute, Pedro and Rob, and everyone who has helped her grow… 

THANK YOU. 

I don’t think they really know how much they have helped our family. All I can really say is thank you.

(Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competition!)

(She trained super hard for this one! No snacks for a whole month before competition)

(Leila earning a new stripe on her belt from Professor Rob!)

Absolute MMA let the kids involved in the project come train for free for a month. This was taken on one of the last days. Top from left, Drax (Jaron), Star Lord (Joshua), Maria Hill (Leila) Bottom from left Hawkeye (Miles) Dr. Strange (Jackson)

          Absolute MMA has helped her evolve into a stronger person. She is still growing and will continue to grow, of course. My husband and I do firmly believe that this was a big stepping stone in what has helped her these last few years. Besides the little hair styles, she has also been more open about her interests and has even asked us if she could start singing lessons. We are so happy she is exploring new things and taking on new interests. She wants to start taking guitar lessons, so if you have any info, shoot me a message! She started taking singing lessons this past February and even tried out for choir for the high school next year. That’s not the only recent thing either. She participated in a very important assembly at her school not long ago. The assembly focused on diversity, acceptance and resilience. How perfect! She performed a bachata routine with a little group from an after school program.

(This is the bachata performance. Leila was hit with a case of the giggles throughout. Love this girl)

          As much as BJJ has helped her with self-esteem, it did not stop any future bullying. For all of us who have attended junior high, we know how cruel some kids can be. This is no exception to my daughter’s junior high experience. With this great lift in her self-esteem, Leila started trying to do her hair in cute little different styles. Sadly, this was met with hateful remarks from “popular” girls at her school. Girls started calling her ugly and weird. All because she wanted to try something new with her hair. There was one girl in particular who just taunted her repeatedly and it seemed that every opportunity that presented itself, this girl would go out of her way to insult Leila and try to make her feel bad. There is no real reason why; they were never friends, they don’t even have mutual friends. It was just a classic hateful bully with no agenda other than to try to bring others down.

          The very few people that I have shared this with have all said the same thing, “Leila should just beat her up!” A part of me agrees, but a bigger more responsible part of me disagrees completely. While I agree that my daughter is more than capable enough to do this, her heart is just too tender to pick a fight with a legitimate stranger who she just happens to attend the same school with. This all connects to before how I said how nice my daughter is. Yes, she has been in BJJ for almost 3 years and definitely has the tools to defend herself if something were to happen but I gotta tell you, I am glad she is not taking advantage of that knowledge each time someone hurts her feelings or makes her upset.

          This particular girl had never gotten physical with Leila. I think for me, as the mom, that is the biggest deciding factor about any fighting. My husband and I have both told Leila to never hit anyone, especially if they are just saying rude remarks. If it gets to the point of threatening or something that is getting too out of hand (verbally, mentally, emotionally), there are certain steps she needs to take.

• First, talk to her vice principals at school and let us know immediately of the situation. It SHOULD be fixed after that. 
• If the problem continues, then us parents will go meet with whoever was supposed to fix it. 
• If the problem continues or gets worse (physical), we have told Leila to fight back. To defend herself no matter what. 

          We both told her on multiple occasions that if she were to get suspended, we would take her out for ice cream and be more proud than ever because she did what she had to do and took all the proper steps. Luckily, for our family, no bully has tried to get physical with her and we really hope it stays that way.

          Sadly, there have been incidents where it didn’t involve strangers. People that our daughter has called “friends” have treated her badly. We do have serious conversations about this and how a friend should act. When these so called friends have slapped her, tripped her, insulted her and then brushed it off as a joke, it is so infuriating to think they see it as “cute” or “funny”. Leila isn’t the only one dealing with this kind of stuff. It really is very unfortunate. Leila doesn’t hang out with these people outside of school, she knows better than that. It is kind of hard to avoid people when you attend the same school though. Even though she knows how they can be mean, Leila herself has said, “They’re teenagers, mom. That’s how they are.” She is friendly with them, even with how they act. Like I said: tender heart.

          When we started to talk about doing this Avengers project, we knew Leila would be excited. Hello! A Josh Rossi photoshoot is always a reason for excitement. We were 100% honest with her from the very beginning; people are going to ask questions, your story will be out there in the open, a lot of people are going to read about it. Believe me… we have heard it all already.

“This might cause her to be bullied even more!” 
 

“She’s seriously complaining about people just saying a few mean things?” 

“She needs to just toughen up!”

“Why didn’t she just beat them up?”

          It is so exhausting to hear “advice” from people who really have no idea the things that our family has been through. Our daughter really is a fierce warrior. The things she has dealt with personally, emotionally and especially mentally are enough to bring anyone down. We have dealt with running away, suicide scares, self-harm, emotional break downs, inpatient care and serious mental health issues. These teen years are tough. My husband and I remember ours clearly. It isn’t a cake walk. We often wish we could just snap our fingers and make all of her issues go away. I think most parents do whenever their children are in pain, no matter their age.

          We really discussed all kinds of possibilities, pros and cons to participating in this project. I cannot stress it enough… we are incredibly proud of her for deciding to participate in the Avengers project. Can you imagine? Sharing something super personal with the world? Sure, for those of us who have social media, we post about our day/moods/activities. This is different though. I know there are adults out there that would not be okay sharing this kind of information for everyone to know. For that very reason, Leila is one of the bravest people I know.

          When she officially decided that she wanted to be a part of the project, Roxana messaged me and asked me, “How does Leila feel about Maria Hill?”

Ummm….. Nick Fury’s #1 agent??? WE LOVE HER! 

I should also state we had been watching all the MCU movies since the beginning of this year in preparation for Infinity War so we knew Maria Hill was going to be coming up in a few of the movies and we were PUMPED. We have been fans of Cobie Smulders (Maria Hill) for years! We have loved her as Robin in How I Met Your Mother and she is perfect as Maria Hill.

Maria Hill is LEGEN...wait for it... DARY!

It is safe to say that Leila jumped right on board with portraying Maria Hill. She’s tough, she can take care of herself and she is loyal. Perfect. While waiting for the Avengers to assemble, the excitement for the upcoming photo shoot started to set in.

(Leila getting her hair and make up done by the wonderful Eve Keener on the day of the shoot)

(Practicing different poses with Josh)

(Josh doing photography and Leila's dad, doing video)

(Leila with the wonderful Roxana. We love you, Roxana!)

(The Avengers from the 2nd photo shoot. Thank you so much to the Rossi's. The wonderful lady right next to Leila is the one and only Julie Whiteley. She made all the kids costumes. It took her over 3 months! Thank you, Julie!)

         
          Leila was dealing with all of the issues I listed well after the Harry Potter thing started. But ridiculing her over going to therapy and taking medication while she was already feeling down, does no one any good. EVER. This is why we are glad she constantly chooses kindness. Don’t get us wrong, we do deal with attitude issues as well. She is a teen girl after all! We deal with the boy drama, not wanting to do homework, and of course, how much she can be on her phone. Overall, she is a great kid who I am proud to say I look up to.

(Our Maria Hill. We love this girl so much)

          If you or anyone you know that may reading is has felt alone or even suicidal, please know this… you are loved and you matter. I know what that feels like and it is such a dark place and it’s even darker when you are trying to pull a loved one out of it, but please don’t lose hope. Please ask for help. Help is there. Please don't give up. We know the world can sometimes be an ugly place, but it can also be so beautiful and worthwhile.

If you feel like you need help, please call the Suicide Prevention Line 800-273-8255

I have been so incredibly uplifted and touched by all the kids that have shared their stories with the world. They are so brave and I have come to love them all. They will always a very special place in my heart.

(Waiting for the big reveal on 4/7/18 hosted by SendOutCards!)

(SendOutCards surprised the kids with their photo framed while they were on stage!)

(Leila with her grandparents after the reveal. They had no idea about the photo shoot. We kept it a very good secret for months!)

          The biggest take away we would want anyone that may read Leila's story is this:

Be kind. Be kind to everyone. 

You really don’t know what people may be dealing with and you don’t know if an insult that may seem innocent could really push someone over the edge. Being friendly and nice to everyone is free and you will always be the better person because of it. This is a lesson I am trying to learn from Leila daily and her kindness and bravery really makes me proud to call her my daughter.

(Happy family! These are my favorite humans in the whole wide world)

 (This is the video that was shown at the reveal. All of us parents shed tears and clapped like crazy. Huge thank you again to the tremendous duo that is Josh and Roxana Rossi. Thank you for everything)

(Final Result. It is safe to say we were all blown away by Josh's talent. It has been an honor meeting and getting to know these brave Avengers)


If you want to see the full project and learn more about these awesome kids, go to Josh's page HERE.


Thank you to my mom for all the late night talks when Leila was at her lowest and we were just really struggling with what to do. 
Thank you to my brother and sister for letting me vent and for being understanding and loving Leila no matter what. Even though they weren't going through something similar, they still offered all they could with what little they personally knew.
Thank you to my in laws for visiting her the instant she got home from her last hospital stay and never treating her any different.
Thank you to Leila's few good friends who have stuck with her throughout the years, no matter what. You guys are amazing! 
Thank you to our friends in our ward for always uplifting her spirit.
Thank you to my husband for being my rock through the darkest of times and for being the absolute best dad a girl could ever ask for.
Most of all, thank you to Leila for helping me grow and helping me understand more about acceptance and tolerance.
 Last but not least, thank you to you! If you read this until the end, you the real MVP! Thank you for allowing me to share my Leila's story.

Second try...

Ok...
So, around this same time last year, I entered a contest. It was the first of its kind, and there was no way I was going to pass up that opportunity. It was by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences a.k.a. The Oscars. In order to be eligible to win this contest, you had to make a 30 second video explaining how you plan to contribute to the future of film. And now here's the best part; the winners get to actually attend the Oscars and hand out the statuettes to the Oscar winners at the ceremony. I was very excited when I first heard about it, and in classic Marilei fashion, I waited last minute to make my video.

My wonderful husband helped me make my video after I came up with a script. I submitted my video ONE DAY before it was due. I felt so good about it. My script was simple but funny and creative, and I was very happy with that. I truly felt like I had a good chance.

(Here's my entry from last year. Just in case you wanted to see it.)

The day they were supposed to announce the winners, The Oscars Facebook page said they would need one more week in order to decide the winners. ONE WEEK. Do you understand the torture?? I was a mess for one whole week. I kept thinking of how I would react if I actually won. But since I am being completely honest, I thought more about how I would feel if I lost.

Once the week was up, I checked their Facebook page about every 15 minutes from the early morning hours. I don't even think I slept at all. I gave up early in the evening though. Later on in the night, I sat down at my husband's computer and logged in. I didn't even have to go to their page, because their post about the winners was the first thing that popped up in my newsfeed. I sighed and clicked on the link that took you to the list of winners.

My name wasn't there. I instantly put my head down on the computer desk and started to sob. I haven't cried that hard in a good long while. I just kept on crying thinking how this was my one chance to attend the Oscars. But I didn't win, and I just felt absolutely horrible. Going to the Oscars has been a dream of mine for so long, and I just couldn't believe I didn't get picked. I was devastated. I called my husband, Julio, and as soon as he heard me crying, I think he already knew what I was calling him about. He consoled me and calmed me down, and my mind shifted back to reality once my little son woke up from his nap.

We watched the Oscars like we do every year, and I was genuinely happy for all the winners, but still dreamed of being able to be on that stage with them. Lucky bastards.

Well, my friends, Team Oscar is doing it again this year. I saw the info for it early in December in 2013, and I instantly knew I would be entering. Again.

And guess what? I waited last minute to submit my video. AGAIN. The contest submission is today (Sunday) and I submitted my video late Saturday. The contest rules are the same except now your video can be up to 60 seconds long.

The winners will be announced January 31st. What am I supposed to do until then??

I guess I could occupy my free time when my kids are asleep at night with some reading, or writing some... oh who am I kidding?? I am going to go crazy!

You have no idea how bad I want this! I truly feel like I want this more than anyone else. There are hundreds of entries already, and I have seen some of them, and the ones that I have seen are great. But I just feel like (as I'm sure they all feel) that I deserve it more than anyone else.

I already know how it feels to lose to this one of a kind, amazing opportunity. But I could NOT pass this up again. Can you imagine if I won? The films and actors that will more than likely be nominated are AMAZING!!! If I could stand up on that stage and see that beautiful view.... *sigh* it would make me so unbelievably happy. There is no denying that.

To whoever is reading is, then I will tell you one thing. One of my biggest goals in life is to win an Academy Award. There are several categories I would love to win in, but the top 2 are for Best Original Screenplay and Best Director. And I have the rest of my life to try and achieve this, but this chance is an amazing thing happening.

The Academy has no idea who I am. They have no clue that my husband and I live in the basement of his parents house with our two little kids. They have NO IDEA the kind of struggles that I have dealt with these last few years. And by winning this, it would add a huge light in this tunnel that I climbing out of with my family by my side. It would be amazing, and I will be anxiously awaiting for the list of winners.

(Here's my entry video for this year)

Please wish me luck and send me good vibes!

My Journey with Mitchell

Mitchell

         It took me a while to decide whether I should write anything about this. But the feeling was just so overwhelming, and I just felt I needed to share this experience with whoever may end up reading this.  

         This is a story, my story, about a handsome young man named Mitchell. Now, you see, I have never met Mitchell in person. But I did know plenty about him and his beautiful life.  It all started earlier this year in January when a few of my Facebook friends started to comment, like, and share posts and pictures from a page called “Mitchell’s Journey”.

Click here to check it out ---> https://www.facebook.com/mitchellsjourney

 

         Curiosity got the best of me and I finally checked out the page and it nearly broke my heart. As soon as I started reading about Mitchell, the more I fell in love with this courageous, beautiful, young soul. He was suffering from a terrible disease called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and was suffering deeply because of it. His father, Chris, was the one in charge of the page. I kept reading every post, looked at every picture, but I simply could not bring myself to actually LIKE the page. I still can’t point out why, but I just couldn’t do it.

         It was around the middle of February that I got an idea. It was exactly like in cartoons, how a little light bulb goes off at the top of your head. I had been keeping up with Mitchell’s page and was aware of his declining health. I knew I couldn’t possibly do anything to help save him, but I had this incredibly strong feeling that I just HAD TO DO SOMETHING. Anything. But what could I possibly do? And that’s when the light went off at the top of my head.

I make these custom names and I was just thinking of finally making my business page public. You see, I had created a page for my “business” back in September of 2012, but had never uploaded anything, so it was just sitting there for months. But when I kept thinking of what I could possibly do for Mitchell, the only thing that popped in my mind was to create a custom name for him. I had read so much about him and had seen so many pictures; I already had TONS of ideas on how to make the name. 

(Here is my page. Check it out when you have time and show it some love!)

https://www.facebook.com/Mcreations1

         Now, another thing, for anyone that knows me well, knows that I tend to be extremely shy and doubtful of myself. Hence the reason it took me so long to actually start posting my stuff online. I had had this idea for a while, but I did not earn up the guts to message Mitchell’s dad, Chris, about it. I kept thinking they wouldn’t like the idea. I kept thinking I wouldn’t do a good job. I just kept thinking too much, and didn’t act on anything. Well, I just kept thinking and thinking, and didn’t tell anyone what was on my mind. I usually tell my husband everything, so the fact that I didn’t mention it to him meant how nervous I was about this idea.

         Sadly, a few weeks after I got this idea, Mitchell passed away. He passed away on March 2 and I had no idea that it had happened until 2 days after. I didn’t even find out through Facebook. I was actually visiting my mom and she mentioned it to me. She told me how it was on Facebook and a bunch of news stations were reporting on it as well since he lived here in Utah like us. I was just stunned. I told her that she must be mistaken because I had just seen his page a few days ago and he was alive. When I got home, I checked on my laptop and realized the sad truth and just cried my eyes out.

         Have you ever done that? Just cry and cry over a story because it touched your soul to its very core? Well, Mitchell did that to me. The way his father writes… the way he writes impacts me on such a spiritual level that when I read his posts, I just cannot hold back my tears. The idea of doing a name for Mitchell was still on my mind, but I had no idea how to ask Chris if I could.

         Well, I made my page public in March and started adding pictures of names I had done in the past. The response was wonderful and people were so nice about what I was doing. It felt amazing (and still does). But I could not shake this idea for doing Mitchell's name away. Every time I would go to Mitchell’s page (and by then, I “LIKED” the page), I would just always think of little Mitchell and how much I wanted to do something nice for his family, especially his mom.  

         On May 14, I was reading a post on Mitchell’s page titled “SAYING GOODNIGHT / SAYING GOODBYE”. It tugged at my heart in such a way that I knew I had to contact Chris and ask him if I could give them this gift. I decided to tell my husband about it first. My husband saw that I had definitely been thinking about it for quite some time. I must have been pretty transparent with how nervous I was, because my husband just tried to soothe my nerves by telling me I could do it, and I should do it. A few hours later, I messaged Chris.

         I wasn’t expecting a fast reply. After all, the instant he posts something, it gets hundreds, often thousand of comments and likes! I figured he would probably write back in about a week. If he doesn’t write back in a week, then I will send another message just to make sure he got my first one. And if that doesn’t work, then….

   
         So.. Yeah. I WAS NERVOUS if you didn’t already catch that. I had never done anything like 

this before, so I was excited/anxious/and very jumpy! I was eating dinner with my family that same 
night, when my phone notified me that I received a Facebook message. I checked it and saw that it 
was Chris replying back. I didn’t open it right away for fear that I would see something negative. But that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. He was so sincere and polite and ultimately gave me his blessing because he said he felt it would be a great gift to Mitchell’s mom, Natalie. 

Wow… Just…. Wow. 

         This whole time, I actually had been thinking of Mitchell’s mom and would cry each time I thought of how much she must be hurting. So, the fact that Chris mentioned how nice he thought it would be for Natalie just stunned me. I knew it was some sort of sign, and definitely a good sign. I couldn’t wait to get started on the name. I had told Chris that it takes me 2 weeks to finish a name but when I actually had gotten started with Mitchell’s name, my mind was a complete blank. What if I did something that they didn’t like? What if it just doesn’t look good??

 

AAAH, TOO MANY WHAT-IF’S!

         I had read that Mitchell loved Lego’s. That was it then, I would do a Lego theme! But I also read lots of times how much he loved Halo. Nah, a Halo theme would fit much better. But his father did mention multiple times how much he enjoyed four wheeling. Four wheeling it is then!

         Needless to say, this did not take me two weeks. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that, but I just wanted it to be perfect. And since this was a gift, I didn’t receive any specific ideas or tips on what kind of theme to choose. By the two-week mark, my mind was at a standstill.

         
         I don’t know what it was or how it hit me, but I was reading over some of the posts on Mitchell’s page, and again… 

*light bulb moment*

Family

         Mitchell loved his family more than anything in the whole wide world. And they adored him every day of his young life. I actually got teary eyed when it dawned on me that the perfect theme for Mitchell’s name was family. I knew exactly what to get and got started right away.

         I will admit that there were several times I cried while making his name. I kept thinking how much I wish I could hand it to Mitchell himself. Why didn’t I do this earlier? I wish I could have earned up the courage earlier.

         I don’t know if you believe in God, or in heaven. But I had several conversations with God during those days while making Mitchell’s name. I kept asking to please bless Mitchell’s family. I still couldn’t stop thinking of Natalie. I have two children of my own, so the thought of going through something like this just shatters my heart to pieces. I just can’t imagine not being able to see my children every day. To not be able to hug them anymore, or to just play with them. Chris and Natalie have done so much for me without even knowing it. Their strength just amazes me. Chris writes so beautifully and the way he has been able to capture Mitchell’s story and his journey is just perfect.

         More than a month had passed and finally, I wrote Chris and told him I had the name ready. I asked if I could drop it off or if we could meet up. He told me that they would be traveling to Baltimore and wouldn’t be able to pick it up until the following week. I was so ready to give them the name, that I said I would be able to drop it off later that same night if it worked with them. We agreed on a time and I was just so excited to finally give them the name.

         My husband agreed to drive me over to their home. It was about a half hour away from where we were but the instant my husband put the address in his GPS, I got so nervous and wanted to back out. 

“I’ll just tell him I can’t today” 

“I can wait to give it to them next week!” 

         I kept thinking of reasons to avoid giving them the name that night. But it was evident that my husband was not going to drive me anywhere else but to Chris and Natalie’s home. I had a good half hour to collect my many thoughts, and try to calm myself. Why was I so nervous? I seriously couldn't help it.

         As we were getting closer, I decided to pray to Mitchell. I told him everything that was on mind and I felt the most indescribably feeling. Something just soothed me. I mean, I was still a nervous wreck, but I no longer wanted to run home. We were getting closer and closer, and finally, we were right in front of their home.

Oh crap. I’m actually here. This is definitely not a dream. I’m actually doing this. 
… okay. Just breathe, Marilei.

         I got out of the car with the name in my hands and made my way to their front door. The thought of being on Mitchell’s drive way made my heart feel so heavy. I wasn’t even at their front door and I already wanted to cry! I kept walking and kept trying to focus on NOT crying. Crying isn’t a bad thing, but I just didn’t want to cry like some mad woman while handing them the name. I was trying so hard to contain my tears and my voice from shaking. Finally, I was at their front door. Natalie answered the door and my eyes wanted to swell up with tears.

Nope. You go away, you tears. Or at least wait a little bit, please.

         She welcomed and invited me in and said she would go and get Chris and that I could go into the living room. Right when I stepped foot in their home, I could see Mitchell’s angelic face everywhere. There are beautiful pictures of him on many of the walls. What a handsome little guy. As soon as I made it to their living room, I saw their coffee table and they had more pictures and photo albums of Mitchell. I couldn’t contain my tears and they flowed freely down my sad face. I wiped them away as fast as possible and heard footsteps coming from downstairs.

         Now, you may think that Natalie saw the name already, but she didn’t. I make it a point to hold the name backwards so that when I turn it around, I can see their face when they see the whole thing for the first time. Once Chris and Natalie were both in front of me, I turned it around and they immediately said they loved it. All of those silly thoughts of doubt that were in my head just fluttered away. I told them how nervous I had been and that the reason it took me so long to make is because I couldn’t decide how to design the name. Chris said, “It’s perfect. All the details are just perfect.” I don’t know if he would remember that, but I always will.

         They just kept saying thank you, and I also said thank you for allowing me to do this for them. I hugged them both and was going to leave soon after and that was right when Chris surprised me and asked if he could give me something. It took me a few seconds to realize exactly what he said, and then he was gone to grab whatever the something was. I stayed with Natalie and I again told her how nervous I was while making it but I was beyond glad that they liked it.

         Chris came back shortly after and handed me something that looked like a photo frame. As soon as I was turning it over to see what it was, Chris said, “I don’t know if you’re religious or not.” I turned it around and saw that it was a picture of Mitchell walking away from his wheelchair with someone that resembled Jesus. This picture has been posted on Mitchell’s Facebook page and I have admired it so.

         All those tears that I was trying so desperately to keep away came rushing back. I completely lost my composure. I cried because I felt Mitchell in the room with us, and I felt the love this beautiful family has for their little boy. But most of all, I cried because Chris had absolutely no idea how much I had been praying to God and praying to Mitchell these last few weeks. This picture was absolutely perfect. I could not stop crying and soon after they both started to cry along with me. I apologized and started to tell them how much I respected them and that they do so much for me and so many people all over the world. I don’t know if they understood everything I said since I was crying while trying to speak.

         While we were all crying, I gave them both another hug and said my good-byes. I walked out the door, holding that picture close to my heart and headed towards our car. Right when I saw my husband, I told him what happened and showed him what they gave me. He knew how much this meant to me, and he knew how much strength it took me to make this gift for Mitchell’s parents. Even though I was crying plenty, I felt so incredibly happy.
         On the drive home, I kept thinking of Mitchell and his sweet spirit. A tiny part of me still wished I could have given him the name while he was here with us. But I know he was with us in that room when I gave his parents the gift.

To Chris and Natalie, 
There are no words to describe how much I appreciate and respect you both. Thank you so much for welcoming me into your home and letting me share my talent with you in memory of your son. Mitchell has inspired millions of people, and I, like so many of them, just want to let you both know how much you are loved and cared for. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

And most importantly, thank you Mitchell. Thank you for listening to my prayers and thank you for giving me the strength that I so desperately asked for to go to your home and give them your name. I am very glad your parents liked it and I know you are happy with it as well. Watch over your family, little guy.

This is the name that I did for Mitchell. I had read that his favorite colors were yellow and purple. The designs on the letters M and H say "time well spent" and "cherish each moment". On the letter T, I put the word "prince", which I feel strongly describes sweet Mitchell. I put plenty of little details on this name and I am so glad I was able to give this to Chris and Natalie.

This is the framed photo that Chris gave me. I will treasure it always. 

The opportunity of a lifetime...

      I absolutely hate math. Just despise it. I have never been good at it, so there has always been that struggle. When it came time for college, I detested the idea of taking math again, but I had to do what I had to do. So, I hated it even more for the following reason; during last semester, I realized that I am done with all the classes I need for my associates. Except math. If it wasn't for math, I would have graduated LAST fall. I would have a degree if it wasn't for precious little math. But that feeling changed about 2 months ago in the wake of an amazing opportunity.

      I consider myself a movie fanatic. I absolutely LOVE films and everything that is put into making them. If I had to narrow it down, I would honestly have to say that my biggest loves (besides my family) are WRITING and FILMS. Okay, now that that is out there... let me explain how this weird, insane, freaky thing happened. I was in a 2-week long class that was during what was supposed to be my winter break (mandatory class for freakin math) and we had to make a list of accomplishments. This class was actually pretty cool, and I learned quite a bit from it, but I just didn't like the fact that I had to get up extra early while everyone was fast asleep and DONE with school.
      Anyway, the accomplishments were to be narrowed down. For example, if you had a big goal, such as "BECOME A MILLIONAIRE", you had to make smaller goals to reach that certain goal, such as invent something, invest, etc. In the class, we had to write around 10 MAJOR GOALS. So, one of mine was to ATTEND THE ACADEMY AWARDS. The smaller goals to reach this goal were...

1. Write a screenplay 

2. Start my blog idea ALREADY and get my name out there 

3. Create a film 

4. Submit film to dozens of film festivals 

5. Plain old luck 

      I started to think about that list more and more, and thought about starting my blog (I'll talk about that later because it isn't this one) and thought how AMAZING it would be to actually attend the Oscars. WOW... me. At the Oscars. Can you imagine?
       I'm just a girl from Bolivia!!! (that would be part of my acceptance speech BTW.. just sayin).

Nothing like that has happened to me. I daydreamed about it for weeks, then it gradually stopped being so demanding of my brain time. But only for a little bit. I logged in to Facebook like I do every day and something caught my eye and I decided to click on it. I "LIKE" The Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences (aka the Oscars page) on FB and although I had seen this link in the last few weeks, I never clicked on it for whatever reason. But that day I did. The picture right above the link was this....

 Right when I read that, I figured it might be a cool package they send you for guessing a whole bunch of Oscar trivia correctly. But as I read on, I literally screamed out loud.
      With this contest, you are required to make a 30 second video answering the question

“How will you contribute to the future of movies?” 

The winner of the contest gets to go to the Oscars, and stand on the actual stage holding the Oscar statues that are handed to the Academy winners.  

Did you just read that?? I mean, seriously.. did you REALLY read it? 

THIS. WAS. AMAZING.

      My mind was instantly overflowing with ideas that consisted of special effects, stunt doubles, and tons of props. Plus, I found out a little bit after Christmas, and the contest wasn't due until January 18. Pfft, piece of cake! I got plenty of time! Well, time flew by as it tends to and I had not done a single thing. I still had two weeks and I already had an awesome idea in mind. I told my husband about my idea and we decided to start recording the following week since life was just too hectic around then.

      Well, as you can probably guess, that didn't happen either. One random day, I was in a brand new class and was just thinking to myself about how much time was left for the contest. I knew it was the following week but couldn't remember the exact date. I looked at my phone and almost dropped it in the middle of class. It was Tuesday, JANUARY FREAKING 15TH!!!! I only had a few days to not only write a script but to rehearse, record it, and EDIT IT!! I was losing my mind!
      I sadly decided, "Hmm.. maybe I shouldn't even enter. It's okay... " But that thought rapidly faded away. 
   
      My husband and I decided there was no way we would be able to pull off our original idea (which really did include a lot of props, and TONS of extras). There was no way we could gather that many people in such a short amount of time, especially with me having school every day in the morning, and my husband working every night until midnight. So, we moved in a different direction.

      The end result is... creative. Funny. Most importantly, it's unique. And we are both proud of it.  

      I submitted my video the morning of the due date for videos and got to browsing through some. 

THERE WERE TONS!!! 

      I soon realized there are hundreds, literally thousands of people with this exact same dream. And I just wish they would pick me. 

      I should honestly just say it now.. THANK YOU MATH! I still kind of hate you for being so difficult, but this little dream and the little goals would have never happened if it wasn't for that class I had to take due to math. MATH, I LOVE YOU (kinda).

So, let's get down to business. 

The results get announced TOMORROW (February 8, 2013). 

      
       I am literally on the verge of tears just thinking that I just MIGHT win, but even worse, I might just LOSE.   

      I have no idea who might even read this. I just really wanted to document how I was feeling about this contest, because to me, it honestly is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Seeing the words that described the prize of the contest, it felt like it was "meant" for me to enter. I know.... silly, right? 

But it's true. I watch the Academy Awards EVERY YEAR, and know so much Oscar trivia, it often scares me. But I absolutely love it. And to just be able to stand on the same stage as so many great film legends... How can I pass up an opportunity like that?

JUST IMAGINE.... SERIOUSLY... Close your eyes if you have to :)

      If I were to win, I could meet Christoph Waltz. I could meet Robert Downey Jr. I could meet FREAKIN STEVEN SPIELBERG!!! One of the greatest directors of all time!!!! The room will be crowded with people I have admired for so many years. 

      You know what, I don't even know if the winner gets to mingle with everyone. And I don't even care about that. Just to able to ATTEND the Oscars. Wow... certainly a dream come true. 

      I will end with one last thing. Kind of a goal... that I have in mind. Well, GOALS to be precise.

      I do want to attend the Oscars in the future. Maybe I won't get to this year with this college contest, but I certainly intend to in my lifetime. I have never really told anyone this, but these are the categories I would someday LOVE to win (or even just be nominated!) in.

1. Best Director (Yes, I know. Kind of funny to think I would ever win such an award)
2. Best Original Screenplay (Yes, I do have film ideas in mind and would love to perfect them for the future)
3. Best Actress (No, you are not mistaken. You did read that correctly. I have never acted in my life. At least not in front of people! But I 100% believe I could do it)
4. Best Supporting Actress (I do not think I would jump directly to Best Actress without at least a nod with Best Supporting Actress. I would love to have both under my belt)

Felt kinda funny admitting that you (whoever you may be reading this) but it's the truth :) and even I laugh about it! So, I don't mind if you laugh about it too. But try not to be so shocked when you see me on that stage someday mmk.

SEE YOU AT THE OSCARS!!!! :)  



Oh.. here's my entry video :)